Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked the he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
He stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong an' handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."
Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scotish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show
Ring-ding didle iidle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Around the bonnie star the scot's kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Lad, I don't know where ya been, but I see you've won first prize"
Ring-ding didle idle i de-o
Ring dye didley i oh
Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize
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Kilts meant something else in my adolesence. It's no mistake that many school uniforms have plaid skirts and white button-down shirts. The raw sensuality of argyle socks, and the plain sensability of a nosering.