HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
- Mr. Potatoe Head
- Posts: 1783
- Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2003 6:25 am
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Just wanted to say "Have a good one all!"
For some banter what is the most single dish that you can always remembering having on Thanksgiving day? Mine is Butternut squash ever since I can remember growing up and I continued the tradition and of course pumpkin pie.
Also for a laugh I found this and copied with permission
THANKSGIVING RULES REVISED
by BRUCE McCALL
Issue of 2003-12-01
Posted 2003-11-24
Post this document within ten feet of all liquor cabinets, TV sets, sofas, and any distant relations who are still sitting or standing upright.
Article XII of the 1663 Jamestown Convention has been amended as of this date to include the following:
1. Thanksgiving-dinner guests are no longer required to play Scrabble, Go Fish, or Monopoly with children under the age of ten. Withholding of liquor is coercion.
2. A shaker of Martinis no longer has official standing as Thanksgiving breakfast. Early risers: the Thanksgiving Day cocktail hour now begins only after you have arrived at the venue and parked your car, and never before sunrise.
3. You cannot decline the Kansas Riesling served with dinner out of professed adherence to the claim that ?the official Thanksgiving mascot is the 101-proof Wild Turkey.? This is apocryphal.
4. The mandatory minimum number of guests related by blood to the host/hostess is increased to sixteen. Seating them on the sun porch, in the attic, or in the basement for the Thanksgiving meal is no longer permissible, nor is the requirement that they wear bags over their heads and/or name tags. Asking how they?re doing remains optional.
5. In-laws must now be accorded full human status. Their chairs must face the dinner table, and they must be offered a choice of dark or white meat.
6. Native American guests must now be offered bourbon, Scotch, gin, or other alcoholic beverages by name. They must not be described as ?heap strong firewater.?
7. When you are handed a family scrapbook or photo album, you must keep such article in your possession for at least a hundred and twenty seconds before passing it to the next person. You may not ask if your hundred and twenty seconds are up.
8. Precocious children under twelve years of age may now be fitted with muzzles by a non-parent after the first hour.
9. Reminiscences that touch upon parental favoritism, unpaid personal loans, and arrests of blood relations? children are discouraged.
10. You are entitled to ten naps per twelve-hour Thanksgiving Day period. Moments after 4 p.m., when time itself seems to have stopped, do not count as naps. Do not commence a nap when a blood relation older than you is addressing you directly.
11. You will be videotaped by your most moronic relation. Failing to co?perate by smiling / making funny faces / rushing the lens carries the penalty of spending next Thanksgiving at this relation?s home.
12. Vacating the premises before Thanksgiving dinner is served in order to ?get a breath of fresh air,? ?check the pressure in the tires,? or ?watch for shooting stars? will now be considered a desertion of familial responsibilities, punishable by talking college football with an in-law for thirty minutes without the aid of an alcoholic beverage.
13. The host / hostess cannot depart the house, for any reason, until one hour after the last guest has left, been expelled, or vanished. (Check corners, crawl spaces, and under the dinner table before lights-out.)
Happy Thanksgiving! *
* ?Happy Thanksgiving!? is meant only as an encouraging phrase and will not necessarily insure a result like the one depicted in the Norman Rockwell painting.
For some banter what is the most single dish that you can always remembering having on Thanksgiving day? Mine is Butternut squash ever since I can remember growing up and I continued the tradition and of course pumpkin pie.
Also for a laugh I found this and copied with permission
THANKSGIVING RULES REVISED
by BRUCE McCALL
Issue of 2003-12-01
Posted 2003-11-24
Post this document within ten feet of all liquor cabinets, TV sets, sofas, and any distant relations who are still sitting or standing upright.
Article XII of the 1663 Jamestown Convention has been amended as of this date to include the following:
1. Thanksgiving-dinner guests are no longer required to play Scrabble, Go Fish, or Monopoly with children under the age of ten. Withholding of liquor is coercion.
2. A shaker of Martinis no longer has official standing as Thanksgiving breakfast. Early risers: the Thanksgiving Day cocktail hour now begins only after you have arrived at the venue and parked your car, and never before sunrise.
3. You cannot decline the Kansas Riesling served with dinner out of professed adherence to the claim that ?the official Thanksgiving mascot is the 101-proof Wild Turkey.? This is apocryphal.
4. The mandatory minimum number of guests related by blood to the host/hostess is increased to sixteen. Seating them on the sun porch, in the attic, or in the basement for the Thanksgiving meal is no longer permissible, nor is the requirement that they wear bags over their heads and/or name tags. Asking how they?re doing remains optional.
5. In-laws must now be accorded full human status. Their chairs must face the dinner table, and they must be offered a choice of dark or white meat.
6. Native American guests must now be offered bourbon, Scotch, gin, or other alcoholic beverages by name. They must not be described as ?heap strong firewater.?
7. When you are handed a family scrapbook or photo album, you must keep such article in your possession for at least a hundred and twenty seconds before passing it to the next person. You may not ask if your hundred and twenty seconds are up.
8. Precocious children under twelve years of age may now be fitted with muzzles by a non-parent after the first hour.
9. Reminiscences that touch upon parental favoritism, unpaid personal loans, and arrests of blood relations? children are discouraged.
10. You are entitled to ten naps per twelve-hour Thanksgiving Day period. Moments after 4 p.m., when time itself seems to have stopped, do not count as naps. Do not commence a nap when a blood relation older than you is addressing you directly.
11. You will be videotaped by your most moronic relation. Failing to co?perate by smiling / making funny faces / rushing the lens carries the penalty of spending next Thanksgiving at this relation?s home.
12. Vacating the premises before Thanksgiving dinner is served in order to ?get a breath of fresh air,? ?check the pressure in the tires,? or ?watch for shooting stars? will now be considered a desertion of familial responsibilities, punishable by talking college football with an in-law for thirty minutes without the aid of an alcoholic beverage.
13. The host / hostess cannot depart the house, for any reason, until one hour after the last guest has left, been expelled, or vanished. (Check corners, crawl spaces, and under the dinner table before lights-out.)
Happy Thanksgiving! *
* ?Happy Thanksgiving!? is meant only as an encouraging phrase and will not necessarily insure a result like the one depicted in the Norman Rockwell painting.
Last edited by FerrariF1 on Tue Jul 13, 2010 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HAPPY THANKSGIVING
just wait until my Mother In Law sees this one.Mr. Potatoe Head wrote: 5. In-laws must now be accorded full human status. Their chairs must face the dinner table, and they must be offered a choice of dark or white meat.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone
"Swept away like voices in a hurricane, In a vapor trail"
- Kares4Rush
- Posts: 3191
- Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 9:31 am
- Location: New York
UGH!6. Native American guests must now be offered bourbon, Scotch, gin, or other alcoholic beverages by name. They must not be described as ?heap strong firewater.?
Just so long as you white men remember that the only good firewater is "heap strong firewater" and that anything less than that is just plain wrong!
My godmother always makes this stuffing with lots of celery and onions and internal organs. My kids and hubby hate it, but my mom and I like it.
Oh and Spud Man, don't ged smashed this Thanksgiving, or someone might make you into a pancake the day after!
Onward and Upward!
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- Mr. Potatoe Head
- Posts: 1783
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Last edited by FerrariF1 on Tue Jul 13, 2010 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Good ones there, Spud Head! Love the in-law one! Good thing it's just the husband, girls, and myself this year so I don't have to deal with them.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Be safe, be happy, be thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Be safe, be happy, be thankful.
I don't have faith in faith, I don't believe in belief, You can call me faithless, I still cling to hope, And I believe in love, And that's faith enough for me... Neil Peart
- Mr. Potatoe Head
- Posts: 1783
- Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2003 6:25 am
Here is another one burp stuffing coming up excuse me. I don't know who pened this but not bad
Twas the night of Thanksgiving........................
'TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.
THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Twas the night of Thanksgiving........................
'TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.
THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
- Kares4Rush
- Posts: 3191
- Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 9:31 am
- Location: New York