Dr. Unheimlich's Disease Registry

Devil's Advocate · Post by **Devil's Advocate** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:45 pm

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/disease.cgi

Me:

I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from
Devils Advocate's Lurgy.

Cause: watching too much television

Symptoms: excessive liver pain, wrist swelling, enhanced vision, mild shrunken head

Cure: psychiatry

rushlight:

Bad luck! You are suffering from
Rushlightosis.

Cause: psychological

Symptoms: sores, humming, phantom pregnancy

Cure: sleep

rushlight · Post by **rushlight** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:59 pm

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:53 am

Congratulations! You are suffering from

Schuetteosis.

Cause: genetically-modified sausages

Symptoms: occasional jaw dislocation, sudden joint pain, laughing, automatic writing

Cure: take three spoons of cod liver oil and come back in the morning

Me · Post by Me » Mon Sep 19, 2005 5:47 am

Me:

Cause: stress

Symptoms: frequent lack of reflection in mirrors, hallucinations, low blood pressure

Cure: eat more civet cats

Kares4Rush · Post by **Kares4Rush** » Tue Sep 20, 2005 11:50 am

Good lord! You are suffering from
Kares4Rush's Disorder.
Cause: watching too much television

Symptoms: abdominal swelling, wheezing, mild redness of nose, talking like a pirate

Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait

Xanadu · Post by **Xanadu** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:05 pm

Och what is this shit...

It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Xanadu's Syndrome.

Cause: a blow to the head

Symptoms: nose extension, eyelid swelling, dementia

Cure: attempt to repeat cause

Xanadu · Post by **Xanadu** » Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:08 pm

Me wrote:Me:

Cause: stress

Symptoms: frequent lack of reflection in mirrors, hallucinations, low blood pressure

Cure: eat more civet cats

LOL

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 4:15 pm

*sigh* Oh my. Just don't tell my pastor or praise and worship band leader, eh?

I thought as much. You are suffering from
Awip's Disease.
Cause: influence of the Devil

Symptoms: bleeding gums, bursts of flame, extreme pimples

Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream

Xanadu · Post by **Xanadu** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 4:33 pm

better call the exorcist

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Thu Sep 22, 2005 4:43 pm

*sigh* Yeah, before, well.....never mind!

digitalrushdude · Post by **digitalrushdude** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 8:38 pm

lol not likely

It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Digitalrushdudeosis.

Cause: sexually transmitted

Symptoms: gargling, brain swelling, confusion

Cure: take three ibuprofen every day before meals

schuette · Post by **schuette** » Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:51 am

digitalrushdude wrote:lol not likely

It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Digitalrushdudeosis.

Cause: sexually transmitted

Symptoms: gargling, brain swelling, confusion

Cure: take three ibuprofen every day before meals

you are far to young to have caught that!!

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:17 pm

He is 14, so, no, he is not too young, unfortunately.

digitalrushdude · Post by **digitalrushdude** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:33 pm

im staying virgin until i am married, so its a moot point anyway

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:44 pm

Best way to be safe, my boy. Can't get something if you don't do what it takes to get it.