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Political or semi-political ha ha's
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CygnusX1



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 17336
Location: We don't call 911 here.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ElfDude wrote:


Quote:
A U.S. Army cadet reads a book entitled "Kill Bin Laden" as he waits with other cadets for U.S. President Barack Obama to deliver an address on U.S. policy and the war in Afghanistan at the U.S. Military Academy in West Point, New York December 1, 2009.


Personally, I get a kick out of the face the cadet on the right is making. Trying to figure out what he's thinking... Smile


Personally opining, I'm pretty sure that there were some offbeat shenanigans going on there...
but I could always be wrong. Razz

Just remember that you get the respect you give.
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CygnusX1



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 17336
Location: We don't call 911 here.

PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 6:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to Hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. Satan
tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished,
Satan informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes
him a check.

Next, Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she
was finished, Satan informs her that the cost is 3 million pounds, so
Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.

Finally, George W. Bush gets his turn, and talks for 4 hours!

When he was finished, Satan informed him that there would be no
charge for the call and to feel free to call the USA anytime!

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic - and asks Satan why Bush got to
call the USA free.

Satan replied, "Since Obama became president of the USA the country
has gone to Hell, so it's a local call." Razz
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zepboy



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 6:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
laughing3
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ElfDude



Joined: 31 Dec 2003
Posts: 11084
Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills

PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't care what her politics are, she looks hawt in that hat!


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Soup4Rush



Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Posts: 17561

PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

don't get me going on that!!!
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zepboy



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



I could handle something like that!
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CygnusX1



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 17336
Location: We don't call 911 here.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't care if she was wearing a tinfoil hat and listening for transmissions
from "Laika"
(the Russian Space Dog) - that's ^^^ hot.
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CygnusX1



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
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Location: We don't call 911 here.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nancy Pelosi was touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car....

Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road! They hit it - full on, and the car
comes to a stop.

Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur,
"You get out and check - you were driving."

The chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead - but it
was old.

"You were driving....Go and tell the farmer!" says Nancy.

Two hours later, the chauffeur returns - totally plastered, hair ruffled and
a BIG grin on his face.


"My God, what happened to you?" asks Nancy.

The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best
bottle of single-malt whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the
daughter made sweeeet love to me.'

"What on Earth did you say to them?" asks Nancy.


"I just knocked on the door, and when it was answered I said to them:

'I'm Nancy Pelosi?s chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow.' "
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Walkinghairball



Joined: 21 Apr 2004
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Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^


LMFAO!!!!!
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ElfDude



Joined: 31 Dec 2003
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Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills

PostPosted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


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zepboy



Joined: 10 Nov 2006
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Location: Lookin for a place.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I voted Democrat because I'm way too peace-loving to own a gun. I know
that if we all disarm and work for justice then oppressed peoples won?t be
pushed into crime and my local cops can focus on community organizing,
bake sales and parades.
I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I
want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a
gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas
at 15% isn't.

I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of
spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is
offended by it.

I voted Democrat because When we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad
guys will stop what they are doing because they now think we are good
people..

I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I
know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and
thieves.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it
will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in
ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions
of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free
health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to
make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest
away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The
Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get
their agendas past the voters.

I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is
unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
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Walkinghairball



Joined: 21 Apr 2004
Posts: 25118
Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^^^^^^^^

L M A O ! ! ! !

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Sir Myghin



Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Posts: 9184
Location: Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^
^^
har har har
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CygnusX1



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 17336
Location: We don't call 911 here.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was just thinking:

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day...

He has his food prepared for him...

He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365...

His meals are provided at no cost to him...

He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the
year if any medical needs arise...

For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him...

He lives in a nice neighborhood, in a house that is much larger than he
needs, but he's not required to do any upkeep...

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up...

He has his choice of places to sleep...

He receives these accommodations absolutely free...

He's living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever...

All of his costs are picked up by others - who go out and earn a living
every day...

I was just thinking about all this and, suddenly, it hit me like a brick in the
head:

Holy shit...my dog is a socialist democrat.
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CygnusX1



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
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Location: We don't call 911 here.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A woman from California, who was a tree-hugger, a liberal democrat and
an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland, near Colville, WA.

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract, and she
wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to
climb the big tree.

As she neared the top, she encountered a Spotted Owl that attacked her!

In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and
got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the
nearest ER to see a Doctor.

She told the doctor she was an environmentalist, a liberal, a anti-hunting
activist and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience, then told her to
go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat, then waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled sheepishly and told her:

"Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the
U.S. Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management before I could
get permission to remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."

"I'm sorry, but they turned me down." Razz Laughing
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