Nicer People, Happier People

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:48 pm

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... shows.html

I do not post this as an "In your face!" to anyone. I simply found the analysis interesting. In other words, the "what" didn't surprise me, but I found the "why" to be intriguing.

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:05 pm

I found the results of the game experiment interesting, but what I liked most was the reminder that

as the American theorist Richard Weaver once declared: 'Ideas have consequences.'

How true. How very true. No matter what the idea, whether it is right-wing, left-wing, or smack-dab in the middle, the ideas we believe will dictate how we live.

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:14 pm

How do I say this...

Despite my disclaimer above, I'm having second thoughts about having started this thread. Afraid it looks like I'm trying to justify or even glorify myself or my worldview. That really wasn't the intent at all.

I've had a very keen interest for several years in why some people seem so happy and others seem so miserable. Even when some of the miserable ones seem to have so much and some of the happy ones have so little (materially speaking). Or even people who have been through great hardships that remain so optimistic and generous. I like learning about what's behind it. And I want to be that happy and optimistic guy, y'know? The co-worker that people don't mind being around all the time? That guy.

Big Blue Owl · Post by **Big Blue Owl** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:26 am

I was trying so hard to not comment and just let it be. As much as I like everyone here, I have to say how silly and random it seems to say that a right-leaning person is a nicer, happier person. I have been accused of being that "happy-go-lucky" one that "people don't mind being around." That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a nicer, happier person, but that I deal with sadness, anger, grief and opposition in a light-hearted, life-goes-on way. You won't find me at a party with a lampshade on my head, but I may be the first to make a joke about the guy who does have (a lampshade on his head.) And as you may have gathered, I am neither right nor left, but a citizen of the world who wants everyone to be happy and healthy (Unless you are just a dick, or steal into this country illegally. Or kill someone. Or live to make other people feel bad. Then I think you should be castrated. More on that in another thread.)

Anyone can write an article, and anyone else can comment. This, for instance was posted on the article page in question:

"Right wing people seem to think issues are simply "Black or white" and don't bother to look the whole picture when inflicting their misinformed opinions onto the public. It appears to be that, that from the point of view of a person with right wing values, immigration is bad, criminals are inherently evil and people on benefits are lazy.

Liberal values are about compassion towards others and understanding of people, their cultures and way of life and not, as some right winged people believe, about letting people getting away with murder and living in a responsible-free environment. Liberal minded people are forward thinking and open minded whereas right wing people are stubborn, stuck in the past, unwilling to change and narrow minded."

- James, Derby, 15/6/2008 14:32

So, to be fair, I know you didn't mean to say that you are nicer than me or anyone else because you are a conservative/Republican, or whatever your personal definition is. You are awesome because of the things you think, say and do. The way you love, share and deal. And the way you make other people feel. That seems to be a more likely key to being a nicer, more happy individual, yeah?

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:46 am

Big Blue Owl wrote:IThe way you love, share and deal. And the way you make other people feel. That seems to be a more likely key to being a nicer, more happy individual, yeah?

Heck yes! I think that goes hand in hand with this part of the study.

To the question: 'Do you get happiness by putting someone else's happiness ahead of your own?', 55 per cent of those who said they were 'very conservative' said Yes, compared with 20 per cent of those who were 'very liberal'.

I decided some time ago that that was one of the most important parts of being happy. When your own feelings come ahead of everyone else's, you tend to be unhappy. Serving other people brings hapiness. Am I very good at it? No, not yet. But being a single dad has taught me a few lessons about it. When I'm more concerned with my kids' happiness than my own, I seem to be happier myself.

And when I'm around other people and I can tell they're putting my happiness above their own... man. It really makes me want to do what I can to try to please them and make them happy.

But, as I said, I've still got a lot of work to do in this area. It really bugs me how selfish I sometimes see myself being.

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:57 am

Moi, being the aspiring-independent-thinker-I-think-I-am, have trouble
distinguishing between liberals and socialists...there is some bleedover
there...

The Republicans aren't well represented by McCain if you ask me...

Big Blue Owl · Post by **Big Blue Owl** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:08 am

Heheh. That, of course, has nothing to do with the topic.

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:20 am

Yeps.

What is interesting me are the attitudes behind happiness and unhappiness.

One example:

One thing I've noticed dividing our country is class envy. I often hear the mantra of how "we have to make the rich pay their fair share!!!" Even when it is pointed out to those voices that the rich pay a disproportionate share (top 25% of earners in the country pay 86% of the federal taxes) they are not satisfied. They want to punish them further.

I ask myself, and would like to ask those who are angry with the rich, "How will punishing them improve your life?" I guess I would also like to ask, "Wouldn't you like to be rich someday?" but that's a different issue.

It would seem to me that if you spend your time angry at the rich, angry at "corporations", etc... you're spending your time being angry. I don't want to be that guy.

Having said that, of course there are things that make me angry. And while I still have my bursts of anger about them, I refuse to let them dominate my thoughts. I'll do what I can about them when I can. In the meantime, I'd rather seek happy moments with friends, family, God, music, etc.

Big Blue Owl · Post by **Big Blue Owl** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:30 am

ElfDude wrote:
Having said that, of course there are things that make me angry. And while I still have my bursts of anger about them, I refuse to let them dominate my thoughts. I'll do what I can about them when I can. In the meantime, I'd rather seek happy moments with friends, family, God, music, etc.

Atta boy!

And I have no animosity for the rich. Just admiration. And I'd love to be rich enough to not have to slag my life away at a fairly meaningless job. I think that having to waste your life at a job is one of the reasons people are so unhappy/angry. No time to enjoy life and no energy to help others to enjoy theirs, and in many cases, still not being able to adequately provide for those they love. So being rich can make one happy, if you do it right.

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:40 am

Big Blue Owl wrote:
ElfDude wrote:
Having said that, of course there are things that make me angry. And while I still have my bursts of anger about them, I refuse to let them dominate my thoughts. I'll do what I can about them when I can. In the meantime, I'd rather seek happy moments with friends, family, God, music, etc.
Atta boy!

And I have no animosity for the rich. Just admiration. And I'd love to be rich enough to not have to slag my life away at a fairly meaningless job. I think that having to waste your life at a job is one of the reasons people are so unhappy/angry. No time to enjoy life and no energy to help others to enjoy theirs, and in many cases, still not being able to adequately provide for those they love. So being rich can make one happy, if you do it right.

*nods*
It really does seem to depend on what you do with it.

As to a job... it has been demonstrated that working people are happier than idle people. If I suddenly had the wealth to retire, it would be a big challenge not to be idle. I believe that to remain happy, I would have to do something constructive with my time. If I were to spend my days and nights in front of TV and the Internet, it would definitely be to my detriment.

CygnusX1 · Post by **CygnusX1** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:44 am

Yeah, I'm guilty of that from time to time Owlie, but hey...

I failed to see a mention in that quote of most conservatives also having
a deep love of country and the will to fight anyone who threatens it, or
liberals not appreciating the freedom they have to protest-the-troops-
fighting-for-liberals'-freedom-to-protest.

Looks kinda biased, but never mind me...I'm just a country boy that
still serves with pride.

Oh, and I'm a helluva nice guy too. First brewski's on me.

Big Blue Owl · Post by **Big Blue Owl** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:47 am

As to a job... it has been demonstrated that working people are happier than idle people. If I suddenly had the wealth to retire, it would be a big challenge not to be idle. I believe that to remain happy, I would have to do something constructive with my time. If I were to spend my days and nights in front of TV and the Internet, it would definitely be to my detriment.

I should have been more clear.
Not coming into this job every day wouldn't mean not "doing." Rich means travel, freedom to develop my musical talent without interruption, learn to be a chef, help others to achieve their goals, spend time with friends and family. Those sorts of things.

I failed to see a mention in that quote of most conservatives also having
a deep love of country and the will to fight anyone who threatens it, or
liberals not appreciating the freedom they have to protest-the-troops-
fighting-for-liberals'-freedom-to-protest.

Yes, those are definitely issues. Just not the one discussed in the article. We can discuss that if you like, though. Just about every other thread in this section speaks to how patriotic righties are and how lefties hate you and us and them and wish that the Taliban would finally give us what we deserve and that they want to tax us until we are dry and bring down all the big companies and live in the forest with all the illegal mexicans

ElfDude · Post by **ElfDude** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 10:55 am

Big Blue Owl wrote:Not coming into this job every day wouldn't mean not "doing." Rich means travel, freedom to develop my musical talent without interruption, learn to be a chef, help others to achieve their goals, spend time with friends and family. Those sorts of things.

Yeah, baby!

awip2062 · Post by **awip2062** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 11:06 am

Big Blue Owl wrote:Rich means travel, freedom to develop my musical talent without interruption, learn to be a chef, help others to achieve their goals, spend time with friends and family. Those sorts of things.

In my world, those things mean the kids have grown up and are done with my schooling! LOL

Big Blue Owl · Post by **Big Blue Owl** » Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:12 am