By-Tor.com Forum Index By-Tor.com
It's all about the Rush
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Really STUPID News!
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic       By-Tor.com Forum Index -> Useless Nonsense
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
ElfDude



Joined: 31 Dec 2003
Posts: 11084
Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:05 am    Post subject: Really STUPID News! Reply with quote

This is not a thread for political opinion! Got it? Okay...
This is simply for entertainment. You know the kind of stories I'm talking about... like this one from today's Daily Mail in the UK:

Teenager draws penis on parents' roof to lure GOOGLE Earth
Quote:
A teenager inspired by an ancient fertility symbol has painted a 60ft-long phallus on the new roof of his parents ?1million house.

Rory McInnes, 18, decided to give aerial observers an eyeful, with the aid of a tin of white paint, after watching a documentary on Google Earth.

_________________
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Big Blue Owl



Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Posts: 7469
Location: Somewhere between the darkness and the light

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once again, a man was found to have climbed into the waste tank of an outdoor toilet, but according to a March report in the Twin Falls (Idaho) Times-News, the emergency crew seemed to accept his story that it was all a mistake and not a manifestation of perversion. Rescuers from the town of Filer, Idaho, said the man told them he was just looking for his keys that he had accidentally dropped and had been in the tank for 15 minutes before help arrived. The man declined to identify himself, and no official report was required, but after the man was hosed off by a fire truck, he "discovered" that his keys had been in his pocket all along, and he drove away. [Times-News, 3-6-09]
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ElfDude



Joined: 31 Dec 2003
Posts: 11084
Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ewwwwww.... nasty! Laughing
_________________
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
ElfDude



Joined: 31 Dec 2003
Posts: 11084
Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

From the AP yesterday:

Quote:
MERRIMACK, N.H. ? A broken mirror brought a man bad luck on Tuesday. Police said a woman called 911 to say she had been cut by a mirror that had fallen on her. Police and firefighters who responded found a sophisticated marijuana growing operation, including 130 plants growing in a mylar-wrapped room, lamps and a ventilation system.

A resident of the duplex, a 26-year-old man, was was charged with felony level drug manufacturing.

The man was being held on $20,000 cash bail. Further arrests are expected.


D'oh!!!
_________________
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Big Blue Owl



Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Posts: 7469
Location: Somewhere between the darkness and the light

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wondered why my connection didn't answer! Laughing

The Brits are losing their Balls

You don't have to be Freud to know that the razzing you get on a playground haunts you the rest of your life, especially if your surname is "Cockshott."

A study out of Britain found that people with last names hilariously funny to fifth graders are disappearing. The number of people named "Cock" shrank to 785 last year, down from 3,211 in 1981. "Balls" fell from 2,904 to 1,299 in the same period, while "Knob" dropped off 51 percent, and "Cockshotts" 34 percent, according to Reuters report

Friend and Futurist David Zach forwarded this story to me, and the message to me is clear: What makes sense today will likely look senseless tomorrow.

The report quotes the Oxford English Dictionary, which defined Daft to mean "mild" or "meek" in Old English, whereas today it means "foolish" today. Without consulting a reference book, I'm just going to assume that most of the Cocks took their name before it sounded like dialog out of a porno.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Walkinghairball



Joined: 21 Apr 2004
Posts: 25118
Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^

I was in the Army with a guy named Glasscock..................we called him "Invisadick!" Razz Laughing
_________________
This space for rent
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
ElfDude



Joined: 31 Dec 2003
Posts: 11084
Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
A South Yorkshire motorist was charged with careless driving after he nearly followed his sat nav over the edge of a cliff.

Robert Jones, 43, from Doncaster, followed the device as he headed for a friend's house even when it began taking him up a steep, rocky footpath.

He finally realised something was seriously wrong when his BMW hit a fence just inches from a 100ft drop, reports the Daily Mirror.

_________________
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Sir Myghin



Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Posts: 9184
Location: Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big Blue Owl wrote:
I wondered why my connection didn't answer! Laughing

The Brits are losing their Balls

You don't have to be Freud to know that the razzing you get on a playground haunts you the rest of your life, especially if your surname is "Cockshott."

A study out of Britain found that people with last names hilariously funny to fifth graders are disappearing. The number of people named "Cock" shrank to 785 last year, down from 3,211 in 1981. "Balls" fell from 2,904 to 1,299 in the same period, while "Knob" dropped off 51 percent, and "Cockshotts" 34 percent, according to Reuters report

Friend and Futurist David Zach forwarded this story to me, and the message to me is clear: What makes sense today will likely look senseless tomorrow.

The report quotes the Oxford English Dictionary, which defined Daft to mean "mild" or "meek" in Old English, whereas today it means "foolish" today. Without consulting a reference book, I'm just going to assume that most of the Cocks took their name before it sounded like dialog out of a porno.


dialog like this just doesn't happen anymore 'would you like to be the cockswain of my cockboat baby'

cockswain was the steersman of a boat
cockboat, is a small rowboat Twisted Evil
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address MSN Messenger
CygnusX1



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 17336
Location: We don't call 911 here.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sir Myghin wrote:
cockswain was the steersman of a boat


Still is (in USN terminology), only they abbreviated it to "Cox'n."
_________________
Don't start none...won't be none.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
CygnusX1



Joined: 05 Oct 2005
Posts: 17336
Location: We don't call 911 here.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Down Under Blunder

Girls rescued from pool area in Fingal Bay


Fire crews were called in to help get two girls out of a pool area after they
had climbed in for a midnight dip this morning.

Police said the two 16-year-olds had used garbage bins to climb over a
fence at a Fingal Bay caravan park just after midnight.

But when they attempted to leave, one of the girls was unable to climb
back over the fence.

Senior Constable Tony Tamplin said the girls, after realising their
predicament, rang 000 for help.

But even police were unable to get the girl back over the fence.

A Rural Fire Service crew was called to bring in a ladder, but while police
were waiting, the second girl climbed back in to assist her friend.

They were then able to use the ladder to climb out of the pool area and
were driven home to their parents.
_________________
Don't start none...won't be none.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ElfDude



Joined: 31 Dec 2003
Posts: 11084
Location: In the shadows of the everlasting hills

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From the Orlando Sentinel.

Quote:
9:45 AM EDT, April 1, 2009
A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday.

A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana.

"My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said.

"Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."

The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door.

The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."


_________________
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger
Big Blue Owl



Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Posts: 7469
Location: Somewhere between the darkness and the light

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^
Wow. I have been to that Walgreen's near Kissimmee and I can vouch for the brain-deadedness coursing through the area. I'll bet the ol' girl still, to this day, doesn't realize her stupidity and thinks that she barely escaped with her life, thanks to this brave blue-wearing hero. Laughing
_________________
(((((((((((((((all'a you)))))))))))))))
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Walkinghairball



Joined: 21 Apr 2004
Posts: 25118
Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good thing her bisquits didn't shoot her in the back of her head huh???? Razz Laughing Razz Laughing Razz Laughing
_________________
This space for rent
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
YYZ30



Joined: 17 Mar 2004
Posts: 6234

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Walkinghairball wrote:
Good thing her bisquits didn't shoot her in the back of her head huh???? Razz Laughing Razz Laughing Razz Laughing



ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Walkinghairball



Joined: 21 Apr 2004
Posts: 25118
Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

YYZ30 wrote:
Walkinghairball wrote:
Good thing her bisquits didn't shoot her in the back of her head huh???? Razz Laughing Razz Laughing Razz Laughing



ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



Glad I could help. I figured you might need a good chuckle like that.
_________________
This space for rent
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic       By-Tor.com Forum Index -> Useless Nonsense All times are GMT - 6 Hours
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
Page 1 of 3

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group