The Joke thread

When you have no clue as to what you want to say

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Soup4Rush
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Post by Soup4Rush »

schuette wrote:I'm so perverted I could enjoy that :razz:
:smt078
Happy 2015!
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H3WMW
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Post by H3WMW »

CygnusX1 wrote:Pass this on to everyone you know.

BLOCK YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE


This is upsetting, thought I should pass it along.

Check your drivers license...Now you can see anyone's Drivers License on the Internet, including your own!

I just searched for mine and there it was...Picture and all!

Thanks Homeland Security Privacy, where is our right to it?

I definitely removed mine, I suggest you all do the same....Go to the website and check it out.

Just enter your name, City and State to see if yours is
on file.

After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please
Remove." (This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law
enforcement.)

http://www.license.shorturl.com/
How did they find that? That's uncanny!!!!!

:-D :-D
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schuette
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Post by schuette »

Soup4Rush wrote:
schuette wrote:I'm so perverted I could enjoy that :razz:
:smt078
I was joking :lol:
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Soup4Rush
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Post by Soup4Rush »

I was hoping :razz: :-D
Happy 2015!
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schuette
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Post by schuette »

ahhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahaha :lol:
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Tommy43sl
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Location: Rockland County, New York

Post by Tommy43sl »

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a pint of
goat's milk.

The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping
through
pictures and they start reminiscing....
This is my oldest son Mohammed, he's 24 years old now.
Yes, I remember him as a baby. Says the other mother.
He's a martyr now. So brave, says the other mother.
This is my second son, Kalid, he's 21.
I remember his curly hair, says the other.
He is also a martyr. So great says the other.
This is my third, my baby, Ahmed, he's 18.
I remember when he started school, says the other.
He is a martyr too, says his mother.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks at the
pictures wistfully and says,
They blow up so fast, don't they?
Statue of Liberty 100 yr Birthday Image and the World Trade Center Stood Tall (double click for larger view)
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Tommy43sl
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Post by Tommy43sl »

mastercard joke,, I am sure everybody has seen it,,, but it is still priceless

http://www.zippyvideos.com/1611934102194676/mastercard
Statue of Liberty 100 yr Birthday Image and the World Trade Center Stood Tall (double click for larger view)
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schuette
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Post by schuette »

I hadnt seen that before :lol: ....or if I have I was drunk :-D
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Walkinghairball
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Post by Walkinghairball »

Tommy, that is the best!!!!

LMAO!!
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H3WMW
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Post by H3WMW »

I've seen that before and I still found it funny to watch again.
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Walkinghairball
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Post by Walkinghairball »

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.
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schuette
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Post by schuette »

:x
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Walkinghairball
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Post by Walkinghairball »

OK fine...................let me find something to take the PIG offa me.


It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:


1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
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PV
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Post by PV »

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs (yeah, they're for
real...)


Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in
today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at
the domain name selected as others see it and not just as you think it
looks.

Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following
(legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and
services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough
consideration:



1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of
the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name. wait for
it. is :
www.whorepresents.com


2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can
exchange advice and views at:

www.expertsexchange.com/

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than PenIslandat:

www.penisland.net/

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at:

www.therapistfinder.com/

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company:

www.powergenitalia.com/

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New
South Wales:

www.molestationnursery.com/

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always:

www.ipanywhere.com/

8. Welcome to the FirstCummingMethodistChurch. Their website is:

www.cummingfirst.com/

9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their

whacky website:

www.speedofart.com/

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at:

www.gotahoe.com/



Do you think these are made up? Copy them in the URL blank. It's
amusing to see what some of them did *so you wouldn't think they were
promiscous.
I don't have faith in faith, I don't believe in belief, You can call me faithless, I still cling to hope, And I believe in love, And that's faith enough for me... Neil Peart
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moYrseYcZode
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Post by moYrseYcZode »

Ha, ha, that's hilarious, PV :lol: ! Common sense ain't too common these days :-D !
I see, and then I drool...

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