A woman from California, who was a tree-hugger, a liberal democrat and
an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland, near Colville, WA.
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract, and she
wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to
climb the big tree.
As she neared the top, she encountered a Spotted Owl that attacked her!
In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and
got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the
nearest ER to see a Doctor.
She told the doctor she was an environmentalist, a liberal, a anti-hunting
activist and how she came to get all the splinters.
The doctor listened to her story with great patience, then told her to
go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat, then waited three hours
before the doctor reappeared.
The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled sheepishly and told her:
"Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency
U.S. Forest Service
and the Bureau of Land Management
before I could
get permission to remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."
"I'm sorry, but they turned me down."
Don't start none...won't be none.