Really STUPID News!

When you have no clue as to what you want to say

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ElfDude
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Really STUPID News!

Post by ElfDude » Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:05 am

This is not a thread for political opinion! Got it? Okay...
This is simply for entertainment. You know the kind of stories I'm talking about... like this one from today's Daily Mail in the UK:

Teenager draws penis on parents' roof to lure GOOGLE Earth
A teenager inspired by an ancient fertility symbol has painted a 60ft-long phallus on the new roof of his parents ?1million house.

Rory McInnes, 18, decided to give aerial observers an eyeful, with the aid of a tin of white paint, after watching a documentary on Google Earth.
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Post by Big Blue Owl » Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:12 am

Once again, a man was found to have climbed into the waste tank of an outdoor toilet, but according to a March report in the Twin Falls (Idaho) Times-News, the emergency crew seemed to accept his story that it was all a mistake and not a manifestation of perversion. Rescuers from the town of Filer, Idaho, said the man told them he was just looking for his keys that he had accidentally dropped and had been in the tank for 15 minutes before help arrived. The man declined to identify himself, and no official report was required, but after the man was hosed off by a fire truck, he "discovered" that his keys had been in his pocket all along, and he drove away. [Times-News, 3-6-09]

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Post by ElfDude » Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:29 am

Ewwwwww.... nasty! :lol:
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Post by ElfDude » Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:34 am

From the AP yesterday:
MERRIMACK, N.H. ? A broken mirror brought a man bad luck on Tuesday. Police said a woman called 911 to say she had been cut by a mirror that had fallen on her. Police and firefighters who responded found a sophisticated marijuana growing operation, including 130 plants growing in a mylar-wrapped room, lamps and a ventilation system.

A resident of the duplex, a 26-year-old man, was was charged with felony level drug manufacturing.

The man was being held on $20,000 cash bail. Further arrests are expected.
D'oh!!!
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Post by Big Blue Owl » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:00 pm

I wondered why my connection didn't answer! :lol:

The Brits are losing their Balls

You don't have to be Freud to know that the razzing you get on a playground haunts you the rest of your life, especially if your surname is "Cockshott."

A study out of Britain found that people with last names hilariously funny to fifth graders are disappearing. The number of people named "Cock" shrank to 785 last year, down from 3,211 in 1981. "Balls" fell from 2,904 to 1,299 in the same period, while "Knob" dropped off 51 percent, and "Cockshotts" 34 percent, according to Reuters report

Friend and Futurist David Zach forwarded this story to me, and the message to me is clear: What makes sense today will likely look senseless tomorrow.

The report quotes the Oxford English Dictionary, which defined Daft to mean "mild" or "meek" in Old English, whereas today it means "foolish" today. Without consulting a reference book, I'm just going to assume that most of the Cocks took their name before it sounded like dialog out of a porno.

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Post by Walkinghairball » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:20 pm

^^^

I was in the Army with a guy named Glasscock..................we called him "Invisadick!" :razz: :lol:
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Post by ElfDude » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:43 pm

A South Yorkshire motorist was charged with careless driving after he nearly followed his sat nav over the edge of a cliff.

Robert Jones, 43, from Doncaster, followed the device as he headed for a friend's house even when it began taking him up a steep, rocky footpath.

He finally realised something was seriously wrong when his BMW hit a fence just inches from a 100ft drop, reports the Daily Mirror.
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Post by Sir Myghin » Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:52 pm

Big Blue Owl wrote:I wondered why my connection didn't answer! :lol:

The Brits are losing their Balls

You don't have to be Freud to know that the razzing you get on a playground haunts you the rest of your life, especially if your surname is "Cockshott."

A study out of Britain found that people with last names hilariously funny to fifth graders are disappearing. The number of people named "Cock" shrank to 785 last year, down from 3,211 in 1981. "Balls" fell from 2,904 to 1,299 in the same period, while "Knob" dropped off 51 percent, and "Cockshotts" 34 percent, according to Reuters report

Friend and Futurist David Zach forwarded this story to me, and the message to me is clear: What makes sense today will likely look senseless tomorrow.

The report quotes the Oxford English Dictionary, which defined Daft to mean "mild" or "meek" in Old English, whereas today it means "foolish" today. Without consulting a reference book, I'm just going to assume that most of the Cocks took their name before it sounded like dialog out of a porno.
dialog like this just doesn't happen anymore 'would you like to be the cockswain of my cockboat baby'

cockswain was the steersman of a boat
cockboat, is a small rowboat :twisted:

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Post by CygnusX1 » Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:15 am

Sir Myghin wrote: cockswain was the steersman of a boat
Still is (in USN terminology), only they abbreviated it to "Cox'n."
Don't start none...won't be none.

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Post by CygnusX1 » Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:34 am

Down Under Blunder

Girls rescued from pool area in Fingal Bay


Fire crews were called in to help get two girls out of a pool area after they
had climbed in for a midnight dip this morning.

Police said the two 16-year-olds had used garbage bins to climb over a
fence at a Fingal Bay caravan park just after midnight.

But when they attempted to leave, one of the girls was unable to climb
back over the fence.

Senior Constable Tony Tamplin said the girls, after realising their
predicament, rang 000 for help.

But even police were unable to get the girl back over the fence.

A Rural Fire Service crew was called to bring in a ladder, but while police
were waiting, the second girl climbed back in to assist her friend.

They were then able to use the ladder to climb out of the pool area and
were driven home to their parents.
Don't start none...won't be none.

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Post by ElfDude » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:26 pm

From the Orlando Sentinel.
9:45 AM EDT, April 1, 2009
A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday.

A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana.

"My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said.

"Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."

The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door.

The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."
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Post by Big Blue Owl » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:30 pm

^^^
Wow. I have been to that Walgreen's near Kissimmee and I can vouch for the brain-deadedness coursing through the area. I'll bet the ol' girl still, to this day, doesn't realize her stupidity and thinks that she barely escaped with her life, thanks to this brave blue-wearing hero. :lol:
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Post by Walkinghairball » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:43 pm

Good thing her bisquits didn't shoot her in the back of her head huh???? :razz: :lol: :razz: :lol: :razz: :lol:
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Post by YYZ30 » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:47 pm

Walkinghairball wrote:Good thing her bisquits didn't shoot her in the back of her head huh???? :razz: :lol: :razz: :lol: :razz: :lol:

ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Post by Walkinghairball » Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:21 pm

YYZ30 wrote:
Walkinghairball wrote:Good thing her bisquits didn't shoot her in the back of her head huh???? :razz: :lol: :razz: :lol: :razz: :lol:

ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Glad I could help. I figured you might need a good chuckle like that.
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