The Joke thread
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- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
History's top 10 times for appropriate use of the F-word:
10th - "Scattered fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
7th - "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877
6th - "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
5th - "Where the fuck are we?" ? Amelia Earhart, 1937
4th - "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
3rd - "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945
2nd - "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963
AND ... drum roll please ...
The Number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word ......
"Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is gonna find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009
10th - "Scattered fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
7th - "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877
6th - "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
5th - "Where the fuck are we?" ? Amelia Earhart, 1937
4th - "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
3rd - "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945
2nd - "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963
AND ... drum roll please ...
The Number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word ......
"Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is gonna find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009
This space for rent
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
A Scotsman was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and get some fresh air to see whether that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and, sure enough, fell flat on his face. So, being a practical Scot, he crawled all the way home.
When he got to the door, he stood up yet again, but fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door into his bedroom. When he reached his bed, he tried once more to stand upright. This time he managed to pull himself to his feet but fell into bed. He was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He woke the next morning to his wife shaking him and shouting, "So, ye've been oot drinkin' as usual!" "Why would ye say that?" he complained innocently.
"Because the pub called an' ye left yer wheelchair there again!"
When he got to the door, he stood up yet again, but fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door into his bedroom. When he reached his bed, he tried once more to stand upright. This time he managed to pull himself to his feet but fell into bed. He was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He woke the next morning to his wife shaking him and shouting, "So, ye've been oot drinkin' as usual!" "Why would ye say that?" he complained innocently.
"Because the pub called an' ye left yer wheelchair there again!"
Two mixed-breed mutts are running full speed down a gravel country road...
The lead dog is kicking up rocks, and the trailing dog is dodging them and
choking on the lead dog's dust at the same time.
The lead dog turns his head and hollers, "Aint this a b*tch?"
The trailing dog clears his dusty throat and barks back:
wait for it....
wait for it....
"IT BETTER BE!"
The lead dog is kicking up rocks, and the trailing dog is dodging them and
choking on the lead dog's dust at the same time.
The lead dog turns his head and hollers, "Aint this a b*tch?"
The trailing dog clears his dusty throat and barks back:
wait for it....
wait for it....
"IT BETTER BE!"
Don't start none...won't be none.
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.