Seven Heavenly Bands

[ElfDude]

Here you go guys...
Seven Bands You'll See in Heaven

[KaelMwithascrubbrush]

These are my favorits:

Band No. 2 -- The Red Hot Sex Door Carpenters

Jim Morrison (Doors) -- vocals
Hillel Slovak (Red Hot Chili Peppers) -- guitar
Sid Vicious (Sex Pistols) -- bass
Karen Carpenter (Carpenters) -- drums, vocals

On Earth, no, it wouldn't have worked. Even leaving aside the obvious glaring differences in styles, the substance abuse and mental health issues alone would have doomed this combo. But in heaven everyone's feeling healthy, cheerful, and ready to get down to rehearsal. That's a good thing because it took them a while to adjust to one another. Morrison had to pick up the pace, and Slovak had to slow down so they could meet in the middle. Carpenter rallied to meet the challenge of the rock tempo and even manages some amazing duets ("Close to You," "L.A. Woman") with Morrison. Vicious' challenge, of course, is that he could never actually play the bass, but he's been working really hard and it turns out he's a super nice guy.

Band No. 6 -- Who's the Double Zeppelin Queen?

Freddie Mercury (Queen) -- vocals
Stevie Ray Vaughan (Double Trouble, solo work) -- guitar
John Entwistle (Who) -- bass
John Bonham (Led Zeppelin) -- drums

Easily the worst name of all the heaven bands but arguably the most perfectly arranged. Mercury and Vaughan were masters of their crafts on Earth, and when you combine that with eternal joy in paradise it's really something to behold. But can the operatic showmanship of Mercury meld with the blues guitar roots of Vaughan? Yes. Of course. It's heaven. And the human language lacks words to describe the sound. Entwistle's taciturn onstage presence enhances Mercury's theatricality, while Bonham's masterful drumming rounds out the combo. The group is a big favorite of Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Cleopatra and Moses, all of whom are never seen without a WtDZQ? T-shirt.

Band No. 7 -- Hendrix Ramone Ramone Moon

Joey Ramone (Ramones) -- vocals
Jimi Hendrix (Jimi Hendrix Experience) -- guitar, vocals
Dee Dee Ramone (Ramones) -- bass
Keith Moon (Who) -- drums

It doesn't seem like it should work but, again, heaven being heaven, it's a thing of beauty. Hendrix and Joey sort of trade off lead-singer duties, since Jimi is fairly good on vocals and Joey never really has been. But they make it work: When Jimi sings, Joey joins in on harp. He found that harps are all over the place up there and that he really had a hidden talent. The sound is kind of an eclectic, soupy, psychedelic, punk style where somehow there are lengthy guitar solos and extended discordant drum solos, yet all the songs still come in at around two minutes.

[ElfDude]

I got a kick out of the Robert Johnson comment.

[KaelMwithascrubbrush]

Okay, okay...reading these made me want to add an eigth great band in heaven:

The Swing-C-minor/DC Longstrangetrip Mamas

Bon Scott-vocals
Nate King Cole- piano/vocals
Charles Mingus-bass
Jerry Garcia-guitar/vocals
Buddy Rich-drums


When the flyers started going up around Heaven, nobody gave this band a chance. ?Mingus is a hot-head.? ?Scott is unreliable.? ?Cole is too much of a wuss to keep egoes like Mingus and Rich in line.? But miracles never cease in Heaven, and within weeks these guys were headliners. Truth be told, these boys put in hours of rehearsal time. Friends of the band report that Mingus and Cole had reservations about Scott and Garcia?s ability to handle complex chord changes and harmonic structures. The two rose to the occasion in a grand way, however. Bon Scott tracked down jazz-great Ella Fitzgerald (who runs the best donut shop in all West Heaven) who gave him lessons, and the gravely-voiced Scott can now scat with the best in the business! Garcia, on the other hand, sought out the legendary Andres Segovia who slaved with the now-dead original Deadhead on fingering and more interesting rhythmic figures?there are even rumors that the two are collaborating on a complete guitar suite. Fans all agree that the high-point of any Swing-C-minor/DC Longstrangetrip Mamas?s show is the Scott/Cole duet version of ?Hit the Road, Judas.? Sky?s the limit for this band. Heck, Buddy Rich even seems happy to take only one ten-minute drum solo per set and Mingus hasn?t fired a single bandmate yet!

[YYZ30]

Okay, okay...reading these made me want to add an eigth great band in heaven:

The Swing-C-minor/DC Longstrangetrip Mamas

Bon Scott-vocals
Nate King Cole- piano/vocals
Charles Mingus-bass
Jerry Garcia-guitar/vocals
Buddy Rich-drums


When the flyers started going up around Heaven, nobody gave this band a chance. ?Mingus is a hot-head.? ?Scott is unreliable.? ?Cole is too much of a wuss to keep egoes like Mingus and Rich in line.? But miracles never cease in Heaven, and within weeks these guys were headliners. Truth be told, these boys put in hours of rehearsal time. Friends of the band report that Mingus and Cole had reservations about Scott and Garcia?s ability to handle complex chord changes and harmonic structures. The two rose to the occasion in a grand way, however. Bon Scott tracked down jazz-great Ella Fitzgerald (who runs the best donut shop in all West Heaven) who gave him lessons, and the gravely-voiced Scott can now scat with the best in the business! Garcia, on the other hand, sought out the legendary Andres Segovia who slaved with the now-dead original Deadhead on fingering and more interesting rhythmic figures?there are even rumors that the two are collaborating on a complete guitar suite. Fans all agree that the high-point of any Swing-C-minor/DC Longstrangetrip Mamas?s show is the Scott/Cole duet version of ?Hit the Road, Judas.? Sky?s the limit for this band. Heck, Buddy Rich even seems happy to take only one ten-minute drum solo per set and Mingus hasn?t fired a single bandmate yet!

(pssst to pick the nit...its Nat King Cole)

[Walkinghairball]

Funny stuff there.

[awip2062]

I like band # 6 myself, although my top heavenly band would have to have Randy Rhoads in it. Still, #6 would SO rock! \m/

[KaelMwithascrubbrush]

[quote="YYZ30]
(pssst to pick the nit...its Nat King Cole)[/quote]

Shhhh not so loud